The Gift of Fire

And when the fire’s work is done, our time to be reborn.

“Phoenix” Satyricon

 

Inspired by the fact that today is May Day I have set the intention of honoring and holding gratitude for the element of fire, and all that it symbolizes. It embodies passion and creativity and the sacred cycle of birth, death and rebirth. And so, as such, what a perfect example of everyday magic.  It is so powerful and yet so easily available.

May Day or Beltane is the celebration of fertility and the returning abundance and warmth of summer. It is a time of honoring life’s magnificence and embracing joy. And therefore, like the sun, fire is central to this celebration. Not only is it beautiful to look at, but fire provides us with light and warmth. It purifies and sanitizes and is essential in the preparation of food. The archetypal image of the phoenix rising from the ashes reminds us of fire’s connection to the ongoing processes of creation, destruction and renewal. It also reminds us of the beautiful duality of light and dark that exists in all things.

When thinking about how fire can reflect our emotional experiences both passion and anger easily come to mind. These are powerful, fierce, full of energy and life. They are strong motivators for action and can sometimes become frightening if someone feels that they might get out of control. This is especially true with anger. And yes- like fire, anger can prove to be very destructive if it is not tended to properly. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

So then – how does one tend to anger? Thinking about how you might tend to a fire is actually an excellent guide. First and foremost we can begin with respect for it, and a commitment to maintaining safety when dealing with it. And then we can be mindful of its usefulness. First reactions to feelings of anger tend to include fear,  feelings of powerlessness, as well as annoyance or desire for it to go away. But if we can remember that anger truly is a gift because it gives us information, then we are well on our way to transformation.

It is often easier to be aware that we are angry because we don’t like something or because we feel that something is unfair. Sometimes, though, we can use little bit of help realizing that we are angered because we don’t like something within ourselves. Is there something that I feel is too painful to acknowledge, or that I feel it might be difficult to improve upon? These are good things to consider – but then comes the question of how one might handle the anger once it’s fully ablaze.

Well, how would you handle a fire?  Think, for example, about a campfire. My guess is that you would naturally decide – because it would make the most sense – to give it your full and undivided attention. You would be building a fire in the first place because it was the appropriate time to do so. Once you have everything set up and it’s time to ignite it, you might first notice a surge of flames, and then watch it settle into a brilliant -yet contained – glow. Next, you might take a step back and look at it make sure that everything was OK – and then perhaps take a moment to just appreciate it, feel it’s warmth, etc.

When it comes to the emotion of anger, containment is simply created with intention. Decide to feel angry and not to act angry. And then once you’ve given yourself permission to feel it and it’s full of brilliance and glory – then feel it. Notice how you feel it in your body. Notice where your thoughts go.

Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of just divulging and experiencing our anger in the moment when we first notice it, and so it then becomes important to take time to think about it and process it later – when we know it can be safe and contained. But in that moment when you first notice it- just take a second to say “I see you. I know you’re there. We’ll talk later.”

You might be saying- I can’t do that. It will be too overwhelming. What if I do lose control?

Decide that you won’t.

The trouble is that we really don’t have much practice listening to and respecting our anger. We tend to do the opposite, don’t we? We call it inappropriate and try to push it away. In doing so we actually create the perfect conditions for combustion. We let ourselves escalate to just before the conversion point- when it would probably peak and then pass- but we get scared. And we slam on the brakes. Animated suspension- we create a pressure cooker, and lo and behold, we explode. And then we hold this as evidence that – look – see- I can’t handle my anger – it’s explosive. So we hold onto it. We deny it and let it become resentment. And we repeat – denying ourselves the grace of the beautiful natural process of renewal. In the words of Maya Angelou “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” It too, purifies.

I need to be reminded of this, myself. Often.

Try this meditation to free yourself of anger, and emerge with new strength. You only need a few minutes…

Find a safe and quiet place to sit. Close your eyes and take a few deep, slow breaths. When you are ready, connect with your feeling of anger. Don’t overthink it. Just ask yourself where the anger is. What have you been angry about or at? As you start to focus on this- notice what you are feeling physically. Do you notice tension? Where? Is your breath changing? Your heart rate? Remind yourself that you are safe and in control. Know that you are ready to be fully aware of and in touch with your anger. Let the flames surge. Feel the energy and as you exhale imagine you are blowing on a fire to help it grow. As the energy increases know that you are angry, and then release it into the ground. Imagine the earth pulling it away from you and recycling the energy. Do this as long as you like. Accept the relief. And look within yourself to see what wisdom you have distilled.

Thank yourself and thank the earth. And thank the element of fire for its magical gifts.