The Study of the Soul

The word, Psychology, by way of linguistic roots, literally means – the study of the soul. I remember learning this when I was just beginning to understand and explore what my path and life’s work might be. The study of the soul. The breath of the spirit. The manifestation of the sacred. Yup. Sign me up.

Before I had acquired any clinical training or the associated jargon, I recall feeling very strongly that I wanted to put my energy into “seeing” people, and through that process help them to heal. It seems that rather than living from places of authenticity, we more often choose to glamorize false presentations of self. Sometimes we can have a tendency to overvalue a sort of polished, Teflon-ish, professional-demeanor type coating that serves as a super-filter blocking out as much humanness as we can mange. Never let them see you cry. Never let them see you sweat. Fake it till you make it. Beauty before comfort. Dress to impress. So on. And so forth. It’s become our collective mantra. Don’t be seen.

 But, as the renowned psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan famously said, “We are all much more simply human than otherwise.” And this was the fundamental truth that I wanted to dedicate my life to honoring. And so I began on the journey of applying to schools, and going to schools, and working at hospitals, institutions and schools. All with the intention of celebrating, finding and creating meaning in other people’s lives – and in my own. But somehow, as life will do, the pressures of finding employment and the desire for various forms of security began to obscure my initial intentions. The once primary drive to hold recognition of spiritual and emotional experience as paramount became obscured by other needs. I compartmentalized. I practiced my clinical demeanor and pushed my emotional and spiritual aspects further and further out of even my own view, to contend. And I did – I contended. But at what cost? How was I living? Who was I becoming? And what did it really mean to contend, anyway?

This feels like a good time to mention that I do very strongly believe that boundaries are important and essential. Much of my work as a therapist has included focusing on the establishment and strengthening of healthy personal boundaries. For that matter -much of my work as a person has included focusing on the establishment and strengthening of healthy personal values. So believe me, I get it. It’s not easy. What we must do is seek balance. This sounds right. We know this in our hearts. But how? How do we encourage ourselves to not only find strength within the true core of ourselves – but to allow the vulnerability that is part and parcel to exposing that real center? How do we allow the light within to shine out – and ah yes- then also of course – allow the light without to shine in. How do we allow movement and connection between all of those compartments? How do we truly become open and un-broken? Steadfast and free?

Here’s what we do. The simple, magical, hardest, easiest thing. We become real by remembering that we have always been so. We recognize that within our glossy and manicured or edgy and intimidating physical constructions – we are beautiful and infinite. We are spirit and intellect and emotion. We are amazing, full entities. We are tremendously, ecstatically and intensely – real. Every beautiful soul you get to see throughout your day, is real. Your spouse or partner, your children, your friends. All full and whole beings with the capacity to experience deep crushing sadness, and heart exploding joy. Your boss, the person next to you on the bus, that other driver that just cut you off. All beautiful, full, complete souls. All on their own journeys, learning and offering different lessons – but all beautiful and real nonetheless.

Decide to see them. Really see them. And if you dare – decide also to be seen.

Here’s a guided meditation that might help to bring this all a bit closer.

Start by sitting or lying down in a comfortable and relaxed position. Place your hands, one over the other, on top of your heart center. Notice the way your hands feel your heart underneath them. Notice the way your chest feels the gentle pressure of your hands on top of it. Breathe. Take a deep, slow breath in – and release. Again – in. And out. Imagine you are sitting in the middle of a circular clearing (about the size of a small room) which is in the center of a beautiful dense forest. Notice what kind of trees you see. How tall are they? What time of year is it? What time of day? What is the ground like that you are sitting on? Is it dirt? Grass? Pine needles? Feel the texture of the ground with your hands. Take a moment to enjoy this opportunity to be here – and take another deep breath in. As you release it – recognize that you feel completely safe and secure. Take a moment to close your physical eyes – and see your soul’s eyes closing as well. Sit for a moment, feeling, hearing, smelling, tasting. What do you notice? When you are ready – open your soul’s eyes while your physical eyes remain closed. As you do this – see your younger self (maybe age 6 or 7) come out from the woods. See him or her walk over to you and sit down facing you. What do you see? What does your child-self have to tell you? What is he or she reminding you of, that you have forgotten? Listen. Feel. Breathe. When you are ready – say goodbye and acknowledge that you can meet here any time you want to. Take a very slow deep breath in, and as you slowly release it, softly lower the top hand down from your chest, to your side or into your lap. As you do this, feel yourself releasing an out layer of obstruction. Take another breath in the same way – releasing the other hand – and another layer – as you breathe out. Notice how light you feel. Notice how bright you shine. Notice that your healthy personal boundaries are still intact – and actually strengthened by this release. You are safe. You are beautiful. You are real. Come back when you are ready.